Don't Ever Forget..

   As I was leaving Fargo this summer I got a card from one of my amazing friends and supporters. Inside is a verse I would like to share with you, it says:
"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live."   -Deuteronomy 4:9
   The things I saw and experienced this summer in Africa have broken my heart in two. The things I have experienced in my own family and personal life have also broken me to my very core. It makes me realize more than ever that without God I truly am nothing. Everyday He renews my soul and makes me whole again. If I do not cling to Him for even a minute my whole day falls apart before my eyes. He is my everything and I am CONFIDENT in my walk with Him. I have never experienced this kind of freedom before in my life and I cannot even explain it to you with words.
   In my time I have been home I have had to cope with things very quickly as I was thrown back into the reality that I live here in the States. I had to deal with family issues as I stepped off of the plane, coordinating an event, going back to work, going back to school with the heaviest load I have ever taken, and going back to my same apartment with my same roommates and my same friends and my same material things. I wouldnt change it for the world, dont get me wrong, but I LONG for ALL of my friends and family to love their Jesus with total abandon. To surrender their everything to Him. Because He gave them life, He gave YOU life.
   I do not know what I will be doing in my future. I do not know where God will lead me to. I do not understand the depth of His love and His promises. I have so much uncertainty in my life but I have the most joy I have ever had before. As Mari was reading to me a passage today about how God calms the storm waves and guides us to shore I came to a realization... If we are in the middle of a storm, He can calm the waves, make the water smooth as glass and easy sailing and guide us on our way, but just because He calms the waves doesnt mean that the trouble is over, we are still out there on the water. It just means He is guiding us in the way He wants us to walk through our trials and keeping our souls joyful, peaceful, and loving as long as we are reaching out to Him. I have not one complaint of the life I am stuck with here on this earth, because to me, this life is only a mere reflection of the beauty and peace of being surrounded by my Dad's presense constantly. I Can Only Imagine (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3LUc78vbDk&feature=fvst)...
   I will not ever forget....not ever in my life. Not the tears that filled my throat as I saw the children worshipping who had nothing, not the tears that filled me as I helped pick the pus and bacteria off of a 6 year old who looked as though he was only 3, not as the tears that filled me up when my faith began to fail and feel impossible when I was getting bad news from home, not the sorrow that I felt from being away from my family during a difficult time, not the nervousness of coming across my worst fear in the whole world..snakes..at any given moment, not the demon possession, not the spiritual warfare that scared me more than anything has in my life, not the very real destruction of a little girls life after a landslide, not the darkness of black magic, poverty, and hurt. Not the love I saw in the people around me, not the freedom I felt in my heart, not the feeling of holding a hurting little child, not the feeling of hugging my friends, not the feeling of finding life in the pain, not the compassion I felt, not the presense of my holy and almighty God, not the beauty and so much more.
   God is doing amazing things all around the world. I cannot even begin to fathom it. More than anything I long to go back to Africa and hold those hurting little babies and show them what love is by God working in me. But for now, I will be serving my Dad here on my college campus and at my job! Please join me in surrendering your life all for his glory, having those hard discussions you want to pretend dont need to happen, giving up the things in your life that hold you back from His love, and loving the people around you where they are at! I love you all so much! I am praying for your salvation and entrance into His kingdom with me on the day of glory!